How I Answer Questions About My Future: "IDK, MAN."

After the workshop on Monday, I left feeling unsure of myself. Unsure that maybe production isn't really for me. When I started my academic career at Ithaca College, I was sure that production was where I wanted to be. In middle school and high school I always loved video production and working creatively with a small group. However, I'm starting to realize that maybe I would be better off in a pre-production position.

I learned a lot from Chris, but when he gave his "This is what production life is like, CAN YOU HANDLE THISSSS?!?!" speech, I'm not gonna lie it made me a little nervous. I recently had the opportunity to meet up with my friend Emily, who graduated from IC in May and started working on set for So You Think You Can Dance in Los Angeles. She said all the same things as Chris. (Obviously, field shows and studio shows are drastically different, but the high stress environment surrounding television production is the same.)

How I feel in life sometimes.

I told her, straight up, "I don't know if I can handle that." She said that it's okay if I don't know exactly what I want to do now, and that I would get a much better idea once I'm out in LA--I plan to go for my last semester senior year.

She too talked about long days on set, having to deal with people yelling at you all the time, (for her, it was her boss in her headset) and starting out at the very, very bottom. But the boss she thought didn't like her hired her to be a talent coordinator for a new TV show, so things worked out well for Emily in the end.

I have adopted an associate producer role in our group project. Theo is doing most of the work, but I've been trying to help out with small stuff, like designing an audition flyer, editing the script, contacting a composer, and trying to make sure other people stay on task. We don't have a lot of time to complete our project, and I want it to be the best it can be. I've found that I feel more comfortable in this role, but that's because it's familiar to me.

As for my future, I think I need a lot more experience before I make any big moves. Or maybe I need to make big moves to gain experience. I can't say I have any predictions for the future, so for now, I'm going to focus on putting 100% effort into everything that I do.