Friday, September 21, 2012

A man amongst men

            I won’t publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively. My only official recommendations are U.S. Army issued mustache trimmers, Morton’s salt, and the C.R. Lawrence Fein two inch axe-style scraper oscillating knife blade.”

The perfect T.V, character has been a argument going on for decades. People say there is no clear cut number one character because there is no way to tell; I’m here to tell you THEY ARE WRONG. There is only one character that is clear-cut above the rest, and he happens to be on a T.V. show that is still on the air. This character is the embodiment of what a man actually is; Hid name is Ron Swanson.  Ron is a no tolerance man when it comes to the country he loves. He thinks a gun should be in every house and

“It’s never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teet until they have sore, chapped nipples. I’m gunna need a different metaphor to give this nine year old.”

This is a man who once gave a land mine to a nine year old. He is the American of all Americans. His love for bacon is only matched by his love for America. He is a man with his own pyramid, and that’s where I will leave you with this rant.

“I have been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It’s a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include: Capitalism, God’s way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. Crying, acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish, for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”

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